Little Black Dress

Today is my birthday and I got myself a little black dress. I have not bought myself a dress since....I have no idea!!!

I just have to say, I feel so pretty in this dress. Is that wrong to feel that way? Is that selfish? I have had quite the year and a half and have not felt "myself" for awhile. When I put on the dress, with all the accessories of course, and see the look on my husbands face....well, it kind of wipes away all the bad feelings from this last year and a half. I hope I am not sounding selfish and "all about me" like but I feel like a million dollars in that dress.

Do you ever just have those human times when you feel "unlovely, not pretty?" Times when you wish things were different. I don't need people to come tell me I am pretty, I just sometimes feel not myself. Is this making sense?

I was talking to Jeremy tonight about all this. I told him that all of you (meaning anyone who sees me) see just me...with a little bit of a eyelid droop. I see double vision half the time and the drooping eyelid that makes it hard to see. I know to all of you I am me. But when I look out into the world I see an imperfect view and so sometimes I feel like that is who I am...an unperfect, not pretty view. I know all these things are just stupid and not justifiable but I am human. The reality is that God made me the way He did and that is enough. I am so thankful for what I have experienced this past year and a half because it has changed me in so many ways. Those feelings of "imperfection" are human and are there because of our sinful nature. But God wants to perfect us to be like Him in all areas. So I guess I need to look to Him when I feel "not pretty."

I share these things with you not to get pity, not to have someone tell me anything...just to share. This blog, from my point of view, is a place to come and share my feelings openly without being "told how to feel" if that makes sense.

I welcome your comments on my thoughts but please bare in mind I am not looking for your opinion on how to feel. So if I do not agree with you...don't get upset, just realize that I am only sharing my heart. I may not agree with you and you may not agree with me.

Thanks for listening. I can't wait to wear my little black dress and feel like the beautiful wife and person my husband deserves!

Go out and wear your little black dress...or whatever makes you feel pretty (or handsome) and then remember to thank God for making you the way He did....imperfections and all!!