Update on Dad

Dad is doing well after surgery. He was up walking that night and went home Tuesday morning. Thanks for all of you who were praying. God is good all the time!!!

(Photo is from last year July on our family vacation to Canada)

Tricia :)

Straw Hat Month-April

I am pregnant!













APRIL FOOLS!!! Had to get that out of the way!!








Ok, this month is Straw Hat Month! Thats right all you farmers wives...we celebrate you this month! Everyone don your straw hat and sing a little diddy. I don't have a straw hat but I will need to get one for such a fabulous holiday event.

Have a great month!!

Tricia :)

National Frozen Food Month-March

Did you know that this is National Frozen Food Month. I have decided that the best way to celebrate this fabulous month is to cook only frozen food from here on out (3 more days). So, join me in this quest to make this a well celebrated holiday across the country!

Am I bored you ask? Maybe. Either way, I will be posting my favorite holiday for each month from here on out. If you want to place your vote and help me choose, go here. Otherwise look forward to some exciting and fun times to come! Have a super weekend.

Tricia :)

New Glasses!

It has been a little while since I posted. I am so happy to announce that I have my new glasses!!! This means that the double vision is on its way out the door. The glasses help my eyes to process single vision with prisms. And even more exciting....I CAN DRIVE!!! I have been out every day since I got them (Tuesday). Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me and don't stop!!

So, I think, maybe, that spring is on it's way. It has been consistently 40ish degrees here in PA so I see it on the way. I can't wait to have Mariah out in the yard and to take her to the local park!

Well, just wanted to fill you in! Please be praying for my dad, Paul as he is right now in surgery for a herniated disc in his back. Thanks again!

Tricia :)

Bragging Time

Ok, I know that all moms are proud of their children. It is just the way things are and always will be. But my little 2 year old girl has to be a genius or something. The above picture of "Daddy" was drawn totally by her, on her own, no help! It is a very good picture for a 2 year old...you have to admit that!!!

I am so thankful for the little girl God has given to us. She teaches me something almost every day! If nothing else, she makes me very thankful to my parents for all they did for us. I know that this is totally a mom thing....but....she is so smart. She can count to 5 in Spanish, she knows her entire alphabet and recognizes the letters all over, she can count to 10 (English). The list goes on!!

I know I am bragging and to those who have kids your children are just as smart in your eyes. Please don't take this as I think she is smarter than everyone else. She is just my daughter and I am so proud of her!

Thanks for listening to me brag! Have a great weekend and a wonderful Easter!

Tricia :)

To My Little Girl

I just wanted you to know how much I love you. I am so proud to be your Mommy. I watch you every day as you play and am so in awe of how smart you are. Figuring things out for yourself and learning new things all the time.

You will be 3 in a little over a month. It seems like just yesterday that we brought you home and "tried" to feed you for the first times, tried to figure out how to do everything right. I have discovered that you teach me more than I teach you. I hope I am a better person because God gave you to us.

I want you to know that your Daddy and I love God very much and we want you to come to love Him too. God died for you, saving you from a very bad forever. We are praying every day that you will accept His free gift to you and come to know Him like we do. We are also praying that you will one day marry a man of God and we pray for him too. I know boys are just friends right now but some day that may change. Don't ever forget that we love you and want to talk to you about anything that is on your mind. Please come to us!

I just was thinking about you and wanted to right down my thoughts so you could some day read them and know how I was feeling on this day. I love you with all my heart, Mariah. Be a good girl!

Love, Mommy :)

GREAT Day!!!

I had a wonderful day today! Jeremy and I traveled to Philadelphia for my eye doctor's appointment. Long ride but so worth it!

We met with the doctor who did my eye muscle surgery in November. He came to the conclusion that it is now time for prisms for my glasses. This means that I will no longer have to see double!! AND I get to drive again!!!!! SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!!

I have to say that all my worrying and fusing was useless because God showed Himself in some good news today. God is good, all the time, no matter the circumstances. I need to remember that when I am struggling, not just when I get good news. I hope I can try to be better at that from here on out! Keep me in check, PLEASE, so I can do what God wants me to do in all things.

Thanks for all your prayers on my behalf today. I am so thankful for my friends! Your prayers are such a blessing and mean more than you will ever know.

Have a great week. Maybe I will come visit you now that I CAN DRIVE AGAIN!!!!

Tricia :) :)

Enough whining!!

Ok, so the last few days have been a whine fest for me. That ends here!!

I need to apologize for going on like my life was over. My life is most certainly not over, just a few "bumps" along the way (thanks Ruth). I know that the Lord allows things to come into our life to help us to grow and to help draw us to Himself. I know that is what I have been struggling with this week but it is what it is. Thank you to all of you who prayed for me. I still wish things were different but I am thankful that God chose me for this time. He wants me to go through this, for whatever reason, and so that will just have to be enough for now.

I am reminded of Job and all he went through. He lost EVERYTHING (not just some sight) and he was still able to give God all the glory. That is faith!! I am going to struggle for that in my life, all the while knowing that it is just that, a struggle. We are in a spiritual battle everyday, trying to make the right decisions while we "fight the good fight." Well I am determined to try harder!! I know there will be more struggles and disappointments but that is not an excuse to get down.

Thanks, again, for listening! Let me know where I can be praying for you. It always helps us to be praying for other people.

Tricia :)

Feeling Numb

I feel a bit numb. I wish that I could come to grips with my feelings lately. I want to just be ok with where God has me right now but every day I have a new "reason" to just be....down.

Do you ever have something planned and you are super excited and then all of a sudden everything is totally changed? I feel like that has been the story of my life lately. I don't want anyone to write me wondering what is wrong. You need to know that this blog is a place for me to come an unload my mind and heart and then try to get over it. I am not saying I don't want advice and prayer. I am saying I just need times to rant without fear of anyone thinking I am going nuts. Sorry if that hurts any feelings. That is NOT my goal. I just wanted you to know what I am thinking and feeling right now.

Anyway, I guess the right thing to do is just get over myself and try to be positive. It is getting increasingly more difficult to do this lately but I will do my best to try. Thanks for listening again (of course you do have the choice to ignore my blog so thanks for reading!).

Tricia

Time of refreshing

It is amazing what one night can do for the mood. I had a pretty crappy day yesterday mostly due to my selfishness and down-in-the-dumps feelings. I can't say that I am happy about the situation I am in still but I am trying to accept it.

I think on days when we are feeling sorry for ourselves and want things to change we have to do one thing....TALK TO GOD!!! I had a long conversation with Him as I was falling asleep last night. I told Him exactly how I was feeling. I know He heard me and was there. Nothing fabulous happened, I didn't get some "special revelation," I just know what He says in His word that He is faithful and always there. I know that no matter what I go through, I can rely on Him for the grace I need...WHEN I need it. I truly believe that we get the grace of God when we ask...when we are truly in need. Our God is so good and faithful. All we have to do is trust Him...and stop being so selfish.

Thanks for listening to me on my "soap box" again. Have a great weekend!

Tricia :)

Bad Days

Ok, I am having a "bad day." I feel as though I have been dealing with this vision stuff forever! Some days it just seems like I will never get out of this and have my life back. I want to not think about it and I want to just be ok with it.....but I am not.

I have come to the point lately where I don't feel like doing anything around the house. I just want to sit on the bed or couch and wait for this to end. I just want to stop having to do the dishes, do the laundry, do all I have to do with eyes that are not functioning right.

As I am typing this I think of our friend Tricia who is sitting in a hospital waiting for new lungs. She has had CF (Cystic Fibrosis) her whole life and it is now come to a point where she needs to have a double lung transplant to keep living. I am in awe of Tricia. We share names but we don't share the attitude about what we go through. Her and her husband Nate have an amazing trust in our God that I want to have. They are a true example of what it means to go through a tough time and remain trusting. I know they must have times of frustration and worry but they have really showed me what it means to trust. Thanks guys for the great example!

So, anyway, if you think about me can you say a prayer. I know what I need to do and I will try to do it. I think some days just get over my head! Thanks for listening to me rant. Let me know how I can be praying for you too!

Tricia :)

Mariah's "New Look"

Ok, so we decided to take some pictures in the hat and glasses! She loves this hat and glasses!

GRRRR!!!!!

I can see you!!

For Tricia and Nate

I can't wait for you to experience....

1. The look that she gives you just before she says "I love you, Mommy"

2. The smell of her tiny little feet...they are the only feet I smell

3. The first time she starts counting or saying the alphabet without your help

4. Hearing her singing in her room...totally off key...and thinking she is the best singer you have ever heard

5. Her first birthday cake all over the room

6. Smiling just because she came in the room and she looks so sweet

7. The feeling you get when she says "NO" to you

8. How great it is when after being babysat, the babysitter tells you how good she was and all the stuff she did right that she never does for you

9. Eating something out of her hand that has just come out of her mouth...never thought I would but you do it so she doesn't cry

10. Watching her learn things so quickly and thinking you have the smartest kid in the world

Being a Mommy

Ok, today we are going to discuss mothers. I want your feedback on this blog so make sure to comment.

I used to think that Mom was just the person who, you know, makes things happen and helps you get what you want. I have come to realize in becoming a Mom that those things happen and so much more!! I have come to learn that God calls me to be a guiding light for my little girl. I was given this little gift of joy to mold her to be more like Him. She is not mine but a gift from God that He has asked me to take care of and rear to love Him.

So many times throughout the day as I am "molding" Mariah I get so frustrated and want to just throw my hands up in the air and let her do whatever she wants. But I then remember that if she is to one day come to know this AMAZING God we serve, she has to be molded to His image in her actions and her speech. What a job we have as mothers!!!

I have to stop right now and say thank you to my Mom. She did her best to mold me and my sisters to God's image. I now see that the things I hated about growing up were probably just as hard for her. Raising a child and having to "lay down the law" is harder then some might think. It hurts me to see my little one "going her own way" and not listening to me. But more than that, it hurts God. I try to remind Mariah of that every time I have to punish her. So Mom, thanks for not giving up on us and for doing what God called you to do in raising us. I can now see what a tough but important job it is.

So, give me your feedback on being a mom. I can't imagine doing anything else and I can't wait until God blesses us with another little one to "mold."

Tricia :)

Happy Easter

Can I say that I feel Easter has come far to early this year. It is still cold in these parts. And of course NO ONE sells an Easter dress that is appropriate for cold weather.

Anyway, I hope you and yours have a wonderful Easter celebrating what our amazing God did for us and how HE ROSE AGAIN! Let me know how you celebrate. Have a good one

Tricia :)

The year 2007....time of growing

I just wanted to fill you all in on what the year 2007 was like for our little family. But in order to do that, I need to go back to 2003.

In the summer of 2003 I had been having headaches for 3 months, everyday. They got so bad that I ended up calling the doctor for an appointment to see what was up. I met with him and he ordered a cat scan to see if something was wrong. Well....there was a little something there (they even found a brain...Gail!!). It was a tumor but from what they saw it was small and benign. The reason for the headaches was the tumor was blocking brain fluid from flowing properly. So, in August of 2003 I had my first brain surgery to relieve the fluid blockage. The tumor was left alone as it was not the major problem and was not growing.

I went along with life as normal...having yearly MRI's to make sure everything was fine. Everything was fine and the tumor was not growing.....until my yearly MRI in November of 2006. By this time we had moved to Pennsylvania and I had new doctors. My doctor here was concerned that the tumor was growing. He referred me to Dr. Jeffery Bruce in New York City. I met with him and he confirmed that it was indeed growing. We made plans to have it removed by Dr. Bruce. He removed that tumor January 17, 2007. Praise God it was indeed benign so I did not need any cancer treatments. That was the beginning of a very long year!

Now to the year 2007. This has been the hardest and most stretching year of my life. I have had ups and downs all from the surgery to remove the tumor. Praise God Dr. Bruce was able to remove the tumor because it would have meant more trouble down the road had we decided to leave it alone. However...it has not been easy.

Due to complications from the surgery (all of which we were told about), I have had double vision 24 hours a day since the day of my surgery...which if you are counting is 1 year and almost 3 months. That has been a struggle because it took the life I knew before and slowed it WAY down. I can not drive....which makes more work for my wonderful husband, Jeremy.

Time out to talk about Jeremy.....that man is a gift from God!!! He has been so supportive and helpful during this time. I am madly in love with him!! He has gone the extra mile to help even when he is tired from working 10 hour days. He is the best! He is always there, always loving, always understanding. I know that is what husbands are supposed to do but so many choose not to. I praise God everyday from giving him to me...a gift!!

Ok, back to this year of growing. On top of the double vision, I also have had some small hearing issues. I can not open my eye lids all the way either. The reason for all of this is that the nerve in your brain that makes your eyes work and your hearing work (same nerve by the way) was severed or messed up somehow during the brain surgery.

So, I have been taking care of my baby girl...who is a blessing...with all these issues. I don't tell you all of this to complain...I tell you so you know. And so you can know how to be praying for our little family. I did have surgery again in November of 2007 to help fix the eye issues. That is a process and will be for some time. It has not been easy but I have to stop my ranting to let you know that our God is so amazing!!

I believe with all my heart the God has a purpose for us...no matter what we go through. I can truly say I am thankful for this time....for in tough times is when we grow. There are things that we can only learn through tough times. When you go through tough times, remember God is allowing this time for a purpose. His grace IS sufficient to carry you through...please cling to that!

That is what we are trying to do everyday. I have an appointment on March 17 with the doctor who did this last surgery(Dr. Nicholas Volpe in Philadelphia) to see what the next step is. Hopefully he will be giving me prism glasses to help correct the double vision. It may or may not be time for that. The eyes may be still healing so we will see what he says. Hopefully soon I will be seeing the optical plastic surgeon to talk about a surgery to lift the eyelids to a normal level. So....all in God's timing!

Again, I praise God for all He is teaching me in this time and all He has planned for the future.

Tricia :)

The Knapp Family

This post is to give you a brief history of us...the Knapp family. Hold on to your underwear...this may be a long post.

Jeremy and I have really known each other since we were born. Jeremy was born to Rex and Terry Knapp on May 15, 1979. I was born to Paul and Diane Osborn on May 17, 1980 (you will learn later that Mariah was born in the same week). My mom (Diane) grew up with Jeremy's dad (Rex) and was best friends with Rex's sister, Robin. So, our families have been connected before Jeremy and I ever came along.

So anyway, Jeremy and I officially met in high school when I would pick up the bus at his school to go to my school. He said he would see me as I got on the bus and thought he might like me but I never found that out until we were dating...getting ahead...just wait for that!

So, in our 12th grade year we finally were going to the same school and thanks to my best friend Erin (yes Erin...it was you), we started dating. That was in 1998 and we have been together ever since.....but let me fill in more details.

My family had been planning to go to South Africa as missionaries since my 8th grade year. So...we had finally gotten all the support raised by my 12th grade year. The plans were to leave as soon as I graduated from high school. So I had a decision to make...go with Mom and Dad or stay in America and go right to college. I had already been accepted at Baptist Bible College so I kind of had that in the bag. Well....I reluctantly (at the time) decided to go with Mom and Dad. So that meant leaving Jeremy, who by this time I was falling in love with.

Jeremy and I decided to keep dating...very long distance. There were ups and downs to that but over all we are both glad it lasted. When I did come home...a year later...things were different but we still were together. He has been attending Baptist Bible College and so I started going too...of course with that held application from before we left for Africa.

So as time went on in the one year at BBC (yes, just one), we started to get much closer. We decided to go visit Mom and Dad in Africa...where Jeremy was planning something. I kind of knew things might happen but I was not totally sure.

Anyway, one Wednesday evening Jeremy and I went to the Durban beach and he messed with my head for awhile and then....it happened!!!! He asked me to marry him on the beach, in the sand. It was so romantic and wonderful....and totally dangerous being that it was after dark on the Durban beach....not a safe place at night!

So, we have been married almost 6 years (April 6). The Lord has blessed us with a beautiful little girl, Mariah (born May 16, 2005). More to come about this little sweetheart but she is the love of our lives. We are planning more tiny feet this year and can't wait to share more with you.

Hope this was not to long. Enjoy!!

Tricia :)